Hands-down, one of the funniest interviews of I’ve done (possibly THE funniest) arrives for your reading pleasure today, as part of our stop on the official blog tour for The Hero’s Guide to Being an Outlaw by Christopher Healy. Now, we’ve interviewed Chris before here at Novel Novice (twice actually) … so today, we skipped Chris (I mean, he’s cool and all, but …) and turned our attention to one of his characters, the illustrious pirate Captain Gabberman.
Please enjoy the interview below, then keep reading for your chance to win a signed copy of The Hero’s Guide to Being an Outlaw.
Captain Cabberman – or do you prefer “Cap’n”?
Cap’n, please. I ain’t familiar with this other word ye be tryin’ ta use on me.
Thank you for joining us today. How ARRRRRGH you doing today? Sorry, couldn’t resist. Why don’t you start by telling us how you first became a pirate. Did you always want to be a pirate growing up? What drew you to piracy as a profession?
Piratin’ ain’t just a profession, milady. ‘Tis a way o’ life. And this ol’ sea dog was destined fer a life o’ buccaneerage from the moment me mother gave birth to me inside the belly of a whale. Luckily fer her, the great beastie was allergic to babies and spit the two o’ us out the moment I started me infantly caterwaulin’. If ‘tweren’t fer us getting scooped up in the fishin’ nets o’ Bonny Black Benny, I mighta grown up raised by kelpies. But the fates had swashbucklery in mind fer wee Cap’n Gabberman.
It’s interesting that most pirates tend to be outlaws, yet you teamed up with the notorious League of Princes, known for (at least trying to be) heroes. What made you decide to join the Princes?
Aye! Ye hit the mackerel on the head when ye said “notorious.” Ain’t nobody ever walked through the doors o’ the Stumpy Boarhound with reputations as foul and besmirched as them fellers. Any pirate worth his missin’ teeth would jump at the chance to ride the ol’ splash factory with ones as infamous as they.
So do you have a taste for heroics now? Is piracy behind you?
Behind me, eh? I take it yer referrin’ to the bag o’ loot I’m so ineffectually tryin’ ta hide behind my salt-speckled derriere. Do an ol’ wave jockey a favor, will ya, and don’t mention it to any o’ the princes.
Can you offer the kids any tips for pursuing a career in piracy?
Har, the only tips a good pirate be needin’ are the pointy ones at the end of his cutlass. Har, har! Seriously, if ye ever tip yer waiter, the other buccaneers’ll mock ya ‘til the sea cows come home. And ye shouldn’t be tippin’ the boat, neither. It’s unwise. So, aye, really just the sword tips.
Piratical Flash Questions:
Okay, pick one: Peg leg, hook for a hand, or an eye patch?
Arr, I knew a feller by the name o’ Itchy Joe who got himself a hook hand. Two days later, he also needed a peg leg and an eye patch. The moral o’ this gory allegory: Them hooks ain’t safe. I’d take the peg leg.
Mermaid or kraken?
Fer eatin’ or fer dancin’ with? ‘Cause neither one’s all that good at the latter.
Perfect pirate pet: a parrot or a dog?
I owe my life to a parrot. Technically, I lost it to ‘im in a poker game. I pray he never comes to collect.
Favorite meal while at sea?
When I’m in me ship, cuttin’ me way through the Great Water Lawn, as we calls it, I get most o’ me nourishment by suckin’ the ghosts of past meals outta me beard.
Favorite meal while ashore?
Ye can’t beat All-Ye-Can-Eat Knuckle Night at the Boarhound.
* * *
Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You think you know those guys pretty well by now, don’t you? Well, think again. The Princes Charming, along with Ella, Snow, Rapunzel, and Princess Lila are caught and arrested for the murder of Briar Rose. The heroes are simultaneously shocked and sad to hear of this news. But a series of suspicious events leads them to believe that not only is Briar still alive, but some unseen evil is working its way into the throne rooms of all thirteen kingdoms. It’s up to the League to break out of prison, find Briar, and uncover the nefarious plot before the entire country is destroyed.
Christopher Healy is the author of The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, which the New York Times selected as one of its best books of the year, calling it “charming—a qurest that recalls at moments the Musketeers and at others the Marxes”; as well as its sequel, The Hero’s Guide to Storming the Castle, which Publishers Weekly hailed as “uproariously funny” in a starred review. He is also a reviewer of children’s media. Chris lives with his wife and two children in New Jersey. You can find him online at www.christopherhealy.com
Now here’s your chance to win!
Submit your entries using the Rafflecopter form here, for your chance to win a signed hardcover of The Hero’s Guide to Being an Outlaw,courtesy of Walden Pond Press.
Entries are due by midnight (PT) on May 30th.
Learn more about the Hero’s Guide books and other fantastic middle grade reads from Walden Pond Press online:
Catch more exclusive content & additional chances to win at the other blog tour stops:
- 5/1 – The Book Rat
- 5/5 – Icey Books
- 5/6 – Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers
- 5/7 – The Book Monsters
- 5/8 – The Book Rat
- 5/9 – A Foodie Bibliophile in Wanderlust
- 5/12 – Word Spelunking Book Blog
- 5/15 – Buried in Books
- 5/16 – KidLit Frenzy
- 5/19 – Mundie Kids
- 5/20 – The Flashlight Reader
- 5/21 – Bunbury In the Stacks
- 5/22 – The Hiding Spot
- 5/23 – Novel Novice
- 5/24 – Paigeintraining
- 5/26 – Mundie Kids
- 5/26 – This Kid Reviews Books
- 5/27 – This Kid Reviews Books
- 5/28 – Small Review
- 5/29 – Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers
- 5/30 – The Haunting of Orchid Forsythia