Today I’m celebrating this week’s release of Escaping Exile by Sara Dobie Bauer, the first in a steamy new vampire romance. I’m a sucker (pun always intended) for vampire stories, and I love Sara’s sexy storytelling — so when she asked me about reading her new book for a blog review, I absolutely had to say yes.
But while I sink my teeth into this book (yes, this pun is also very much intended), I asked Sara to treat us to her picks for the Top 10 Sexiest Vampires of All Time. She did not disappoint.
Sara Dobie Bauer’s Top Ten Sexiest Vampires of All Time
As a fan of vampire lore—books and movies—this was an impossible challenge. I combed through my entire vampire film collection and wrestled with my dark, inner yearnings to present you with the sexiest vampires of all time. Obviously, my Andrew in Escaping Exile should be top of the list, but that’s just self-serving. Instead, I serve you, dear reader, with a strong dose of sexy for your day.
- Lestat (Tom Cruise / Interview with the Vampire)
Lestat is one of my favorite literary anti-heroes, thanks to Anne Rice’s seemingly never-ending Vampire Chronicles. I was practically a fetus when Interview with the Vampire was released in theaters, but my infant self found a way to see it. Although I wasn’t initially convinced Mr. Cruise could pull this off (especially as a blond), he rocked it. He even rocked huge, lacy cuffs and brought this immortal bad boy to life.
- Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff / Blade)
Let’s face it: Stephen Dorff already sort of looks like a vampire. Make him super gaunt and pale with era-specific fluffy 90s hair, and I am HERE FOR THIS. Most of his costuming for Blade was all black, and I have a serious weakness for a man in an all-black suit. Perpetual five o’clock shadow and sallow skin really made his blue eyes pop, and Deacon Frost even got some killer fight scenes. I’d wrestle him any day.
- Charlotte (Jennifer Ulrich / We Are the Night)
Unless you’re a serious vampire nerd, you might not know this one … but you should. The film is German and focused on four female vampires who murder their way through the streets of Berlin. Of the four, Charlotte was my fave because she’s got that 1920s flapper thing going, smoking her cigarettes out of an elegant Audrey Hepburn-style holder. She’s also the depressed, tragic character, and there’s something sexy about that. Are you sad, Charlotte? Come to bed, my dear.
- Lestat (Stuart Townsend / Queen of the Damned)
Another Lestat? Sara, you must be mad! Hear me out: the two Lestats are real, real different. Tom’s Lestat was old school class; Stuart’s is a modern, goth rock star who wears black eyeliner and shiny, see-through shirts. Queen of the Damned is not actually a good movie, mind you, but Stuart Townsend’s androgynous take on an iconic vampire is worth watching. Gotta love a skinny, British dude who knows how to move his hips.
- Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek / From Dusk Till Dawn)
Insert gratuitous panting noises here. Drool, too. The first time I saw Salma Hayek was in this role, dancing on a table with a boa constrictor on her shoulders. I remember thinking, I’ve just turned spontaneously gay. I wanted to climb her curvy, undulating body like sexual Everest. The fact that she would probably kill me after? Eh, worth it.
- Eve (Tilda Swinton / Only Lovers Left Alive)
I know what you’re thinking: I chose Tilda over Tom Hiddleston in this movie? Yes, I did. OLLA is the quietest vampire movie you’ll ever watch. When you finish watching it, I promise you’ll feel stoned. It lulls you into this false sense of safety before it bites your throat. Tilda as Eve is somehow asexual and sexual at the same time. I don’t want to bang her; I want to sleep in her bed while she pets my hair. Dunno why that’s a turn on, but it is.
- Dracula (Gary Oldman / Bram Stoker’s Dracula)
We’re heating up now! Under normal circumstances, Gary isn’t a sexy guy—unless he’s Sirius Black, because nnnggggg … I love him as Sirius Black. I also love him as Dracula. This film is one of my favorite films of all time, thanks to the cinematography, music, and acting. Gary kills it as a Victorian Dracula with his blue sunglasses and top hats. Even when he turns into a wolf and murders a girl, you’re like, Do what you gotta do, man. Give me some absinthe, and I’ll party with this dude all night long.
- Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell / Fright Night)
Based on careful study, I’ve decided Colin Farrell is actually a vampire. I mean have you ever seen the guy in sunlight? He’s just so … dark … and, well, hot as an Arizona sidewalk in July. As Jerry, he tries to seduce basically everyone in this movie, and full disclosure: I would have let him. “Sure, vampire man, come right on in.” He’s super charismatic and super bad, and it’s all okay in this brilliant, campy remake of a 1980s cult classic.
- Selene (Kate Beckinsale / Underworld)
I love a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman who kicks ass is my female wet dream. Lucky for us, we got a couple movies with Kate as the killer Selene. First off, her makeup in this series is on point. Pale skin with shimmery, purple lips? Yes, please. I love the contrast of her black hair with icy blue eyes. Most importantly, though? She’s in skintight leather the whole time. Did you hear me? Skintight leather. Le sigh.
- Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard / True Blood)
Nobody—I repeat—nobody is sexier as a vampire than Alexander Skarsgard. Fight me all you want, but this man does things to a girl. I remember the first time I watched True Blood. I was peacefully enjoying the Sookie-Bill dynamic, when BOOM! This blond guy was sitting silently in a chair in a bar, and I lost control of my limbs. Eric is bad, he’s good, he’s sexy, he’s … everything. In fact, I’ll let you in on a secret: Andrew in Escaping Exile? His look is based on Alexander Skarsgard. Now, you gotta read it, because the world needs more of Mr. Skarsgard (preferably reading a book naked).
Andrew is a vampire from New Orleans, exiled to a tropical island in the 1800s as punishment for his human bloodlust. During a storm, a ship crashes off shore. After rescuing a sailor from the cannibals native to the land, Andrew becomes fascinated with his brilliant, beautiful new companion, Edmund.
Edmund is a British naturalist who has sailed the world seeking new species. Intrigued by creatures that might kill him, immortal Andrew is this scientist’s dream-but so is making his way back home. Edmund will fight to survive, even while wrapped in the arms of a monster.
As light touches and laughter turn to something much more passionate, the cannibals creep ever closer to Edmund. Can the ancient vampire keep his human alive long enough to escape exile and explore their newfound love, or will Andrew’s bloodlust seal his own doom?
Sara Dobie Bauer is a bestselling author, model, and mental health / LGBTQ advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. Twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize, she lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody series, among other sexy things. Learn more at http://SaraDobieBauer.com.