Zombies vs. Unicorns Contest Winners (Which team won?)

The debate of Zombies vs. Unicorns reaches epic proportions in the short story collection edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier … but there are some pretty strong and compelling arguments made by the folks who entered our Zombies vs. Unicorns Contest, as well. I was thoroughly impressed with the quality & hilarity of our entries, and choosing only three winners was HARD!

For this contest, we asked you to tell us whether you were Team Zombie or Team Unicorn, and why. Each winner will receive a finished copy of Zombies vs. Unicorns, a pin and a poster courtesy of Simon & Schuster!

But alas, narrowing down the field of entries to three was necessary — and so, I present to you (in no particular order) the winners and their winning entries in our Zombies vs. Unicorns Contest:

Winner: Allison R.
Not only did Allison reference the iconic and oh-so-hilarious John Green, but she makes a compelling argument for her case using an epic example from Harry Potter.

TEAM UNICORN

I was first introduced to the ever-important debate of zombies vs. unicorns by John Green. His clearly biased video about how unicorns killed Tonks initially won me over. I’m sad to say that my motive for considering myself Team Zombie in those days was the unsound John-Believes-It-So-I-Should-Too defense. However, I believe that John would encourage me to come to my own conclusions, and it was with that knowledge that I let myself look deeper into both sides and find my true place with Team Unicorn.

I first looked into Team Unicorn when I heard about Diana Peterfruend’s world of unicorns. After reading (and loving) Rampant, I decided it was time to reevaluate my then-membership with Team Zombie. I had known all along that the Unicorns-Killed-Tonks claim was only somewhat valid, and that Unicorns were actually quite far down the cause-and-effect chain that led to Tonks’s death. And, in fact, by that reasoning Zombies were just as guilty as unicorns for killing Tonks because they, too, kept Voldemort alive by guarding his Horcrux in the cave.

So with this argument for Team Zombie suddenly neutralized, I realized that I could make up my own mind about which team to choose without the death of any beloved characters weighting my decision. I examined the pros and cons of each team. Zombies were scary and could spread disease with a single bite, but they were slow-moving and not big on the whole “thinking” thing. Unicorns had deadly spikes protruding from their heads and were incredibly intelligent, but they had an unfortunate bias toward virgin girls. In the end, I had to decide which attributes were most important to me, and although I thought unicorns were rather limited in their acceptable acquaintances, I could not deny the fact that their extreme intelligence and their unquestionably deadly force made them the superior species.

Plus, you know, they’re SO PRETTY!

Winner: Jessica P.
Jessica gets major points for making a compelling argument through poetry. Yes, she wrote a poem. About zombies and unicorns.

Nothing is more pure and beautiful,
Than the blood dripping through those magical creatures.
Cadaverous skin rotten and awful.
Their confused faces, their walks so full of gestures.
I am team zombies should ride around on unicorns.

Winner: Hattie D.
Hattie references one of my favorite literary classic monster mash-ups ever. And she makes several good points in persuading the reader to her side of this debate.

I am Team Zombie. Team Undead. Team I Want Brains and I Want Them Now!

Why are my feet so firmly shuffling toward human flesh? Because they make for entertaining and exciting reading, that’s why. Have you ever tried to read Jane’s Austen’s Pride and Prejudice? I mean, all this titter tatter about who’s marrying whom and whether or not to wear a certain frock when meeting a potential mate. It’s just tiring.

But, with the introduction of zombies, Victorian England got a whole lot more interesting. No more long, drawn-out walks in the gardens. Too many undead looking for a feast to take time for a post-dinner stroll. No more prissy, whiney ladies in waiting. They were the first to go.

Including zombies in a novel is like adding piranhas to a pool filled with goldfish. The plot has no room t o meander; the characters have no downtime. The pace of the read has to pick up, lest the entire work eat itself.

When reading a zombie book, I am aware. I do not doze; I cannot relax. I have to remain vigilant. In a world filled with sleepy romances and unoriginal mystery, zombies are instant fun and trauma. I don’t read so that every character will survive, so that every man will find a woman, or so that every child sees his or her wildest dreams fulfilled. I read for passion, for intrigue, for life.

And, so I remain. Arms held forward at my chest, legs dredging the earth beneath my undead soles, eyes glazed, looking for the next great read.