Sucks to Be Me Contest Winners

Finally, at long last, we are delighted to announce the winners of our Sucks to Be Me contest! For our May Book of the Month series, we asked you to tell us (in a light-hearted way) why it sucks to be you. Three winners will each receive a set of Sucks to Be Me and Still Sucks to Be Me by Kimberly Pauley. Without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the winners & their winning entries:

Elie N.:

1. I find myself single for the first time in 11 years.  Yeah, I know that is a long time.  I am struggling to relearn the rules of dating, life, and my identity, which is still a secret to me.  I have to say my books keep me sane.  I may not have that wild, heart-stopping romance or love interest, but most of the characters in my books have them.

2. HOMEWORK.  Since I am starting my masters program, I am going to be BOMBARDED with homework.  You know what that means…MIDNIGHT SNACKS.  So not only does it suck to be me (with a pencil stuck in my hair), but it SUCKS to be my backside, which will inevitably grow.

3. UMMM, oh I know.  It sucks to be me because I have hairy arms.  I know, I know, what matters is what is on the inside, but come on, hairy arms.  I guess it could be a hairy wart on my chin, but gah.  I earned several unpleasant nicknames in my times such as monkey, ape girl,…well you get the point.

4. I have an addiction problem.  I think I need an 800 number help line.  I am addicted to books.  This is a new development for me, I’d say within the last few years.  It began with Harry Potter, died off for a while, then started up again with Twilight and the Southern Vampire Series.  Now, I have to read, every day, or that’s when the trouble begins.  It starts with a shift in my mood. I crave that silent time alone with my book.  Then the shakes (I find myself reaching for my book-in a zombie like state).  The sleeplessness,  oh the sleeplessness.  I can’t sleep without them.  The good part is they always leave me with pleasant dreams and the only side effect is an empty wallet.

Alison N.:

Why does it suck to be me? Well let’s see… I have really bad problems with my teeth. I’m 14 and I’ve already gone through the whole braces thing. Well that’s not that bad, since everyone pretty much has them now. But I have multiple cavities and I’ve gotten a root canal. It’s not like I eat bad food or I don’t brush my teeth, it’s just that my teeth are not strong or something. I just went to the dentist two days ago and he said I might need another root canal.

Another reason why it sucks to be me is because the other day in class, I was doing really well in gym. We were playing Ultimate Frisbee, which is pretty much football except you can’t tackle, you can’t run and it’s with a Frisbee. So really, it’s nothing like football. But I was pretty much the only girl playing so the guys were throwing it to me. And then when I finally get it, I threw it the wrong way! And I’m not normally the one to do that.

The last reason why it sucks to be me is because I got to miss school today because my Girl Scout troop went to this place called the Great Wolf Lodge. It’s an indoor water park. And guess what? I get my period. Oh the joy. And you know what’s even better? I’ve never used a tampon before.

As you can see, it clearly sucks to be me this week.

Delilah D.:

Why?

1. I’m 32 but I vacillate between feeling 16 and 97.
2. My daughter wants to name  our new cat Twylek.
3. My wake-up alarm is a diaper drooping off a screaming child.
4. I’m on sub with my first book, and it’s KILLING ME.

And as if all that’s enough, I’ve still got to edit my next book, try to keep from killing the container garden on the back porch, fight an endless population of black ants, take care of my parents’ yodeling chorkie while they’re out of town, do laundry for a family of four after a week with no dryer, go bathing suit shopping with a toddler in tow, and generally function safely and relatively politely on four hours of sleep a night.

I thought I had it so hard back in high school, when insomnia still seemed romantic. But as a mother and a writer, my days are filled with difficult decisions about who gets the care and attention. Generally, the order of business goes children, husband, book, self… which explains why my feet look like hooves and my toenails are still painted in fall colors. Getting a three-year-old to eat broccoli? That’s the real challenge.

If most of the entries for this contest are telling you that it sucks to be them because the cute boy in pre-cal is not only a human of the most unsparkly variety but also clearly more interested in the popular girl, then I urge you to send the books to me. I’m the one that *really* needs an escape.

Winners — check your email for instructions on claiming your prizes!

Check out our current Book of the Month contest to win a copy of Sea by Heidi R. Kling.